Expecting Sunshine: How to Break Free from Our Disaster-Prone Mindset
Our brains are wired for disaster, but what if I told you that this morbid anticipation is a silent killer of dreams? In a world that sensationalizes downfall, expecting the worst has become a perverse comfort. It’s time to unlearn this destructive craving and cultivate a mindset that anticipates triumph as passionately as it does disaster.
Inside: Personal Experience/Story
There is a famous quote from Seneca that says: “We suffer more in our imagination more often than in reality.” I don’t know about you but even though I consider myself a very positive individual, I have a mental battle every time things don’t go my way. I have way too many personal experiences to share with you all, but recently I put myself in a position that I should not be in and the first thoughts that came to my mind were that disaster was around the corner and that another major setback was nearby.
As you probably know I am trying to get back in business while going through my second bankruptcy right now. So as you can imagine things are tied financially, and time-wise. Every decision that I make has to be carefully analyzed because it can put me out of business before I even start.
There is an acquaintance that I know for about 3 to 4 years. We have done business together in the past and in fact, he is a great guy. He approached me and asked me more about the used car market and how the wholesale and buy here pay here works. I share with him my experiences and he asks for my help. He wanted me to teach him and to help him buy some cars so he could start doing this business too. Now, it is important to know, that I am getting help from a friend to start my business again. So even though I was not in a position to help anybody I decided to return the favor immediately and I went and tried to help him but things didn’t go my way. Multiple mistakes were made and in my mind the end was inevitable.
The first mistake I made was that I purchased a vehicle without doing my proper due diligence. After the purchase when I reviewed the vehicle I realized that it was going to cost him way more money to repair the vehicle than what we talked about and that would put him way above the budget that we set up to buy his first car. So I did the right thing. I assumed the responsibility of the car and borrowed even more money so I could pay for the vehicle. Right now that vehicle is at the shop and it has both, mechanical and body damage so I am in for a big project.
He was very appreciative and he asked me to find him something else. Even if it goes over budget is fine as long as he can make some good money he said. So I went to work immediately. I wanted to do right by him and help him make some good money and fast. I found a 2024 Toyota Rav 4 with less than 3,000 miles and I bought it for $17,000. To repair the damages was going to be around $7,000 all in, and this is a $30,000 vehicle. Great Deal Right? Not so fast.
I immediately called him with excitement to share the great news of the deal that I got for him. To my surprise, he said that he didn’t have the money for the vehicle and of course, he didn’t have the money for the repairs either. He said that some personal situation came up and he had to use the money that he had for the car and the repairs. And immediately went into panic mode. I have no money at all, I already borrowed money so I don’t give him a bad deal with expensive repair costs, and now I am going to get in trouble with the friend who is trying to help me because I am using his dealer license to buy these cars. Like I said before, in my mind the end was inevitable. I failed again and this time it was a little bit more painful because I was falling trying to help somebody else.
But instead of dwelling on all these negative thoughts and thinking about the problems over and over, I went to work. First, I cried out to the Lord. I prayed and asked God for His help, His guidance, His mercy, His wisdom, and His forgiveness. I expressed my frustrations to Him and He listened. Second, I went to my wife. I humble myself and tell her everything that happened and all the mistakes that I made and I ask for her help. Together with God’s guidance and blessing, we were able to come up with the money to pay for that Toyota Rav 4 too. And yes, we had to borrow the money. Not what we wanted and definitely not an ideal situation but thank God that we were able to do it because I didn’t want to put the friend that is trying to help in a bad position.
The first car that I bought for him was a 2023 Acura Integra, and the second one was a 2024 Toyota Rav 4. When I bought these 2 cars I thought that they were a setback and that they would put me out of business. At the time I couldn’t see anything positive coming out of them. Just a few weeks later after these purchases; it seems like they are about to become a huge blessing for me and my family. As of right now we only have one car, which is my wife’s car. She drives a 2016 Toyota Highlander with 150,000 miles on it already. And I drive whatever car my friend can loan me for the week so I can go to work.
But I have lined up the sale of 5 vehicles within this upcoming 2 weeks. Those sales will generate the capital that I need to pay off all the money that I borrowed to buy and repair these 2 vehicles. So at the end of the day, what I thought it was course, is becoming a blessing very fast. My wife will have practically a brand-new car and I will finally have my own vehicle. And they will be 100% paid off. You see, in my mind, I couldn’t see this. All I saw was the negative things that could happen. And if I had dwelled only on those negative thoughts, those negative things probably would happened.
But I put my trust in the Lord, renewed my mind, and went to work, and everything changed. One of my favorite verses of The Bible is Romans 8:28: And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose. I know that more often than not it is very hard to see the light when it is so dark around us. But if we put our trust in The One who created all instead of ourselves, other people, and or even things like money, and possessions, everything will work for good in the end.
Data:
This pervasive pessimism is more than anecdotal. According to the American Psychological Association, negative forecasting can significantly increase stress levels and is linked to anxiety and depression. The Harvard Business Review reports that leaders who foster positive expectations in their teams see better performance and lower turnover.
The Problem and The Solution:
The problem is our default to a ‘negativity bias,’ an evolutionary hangover that makes us more sensitive to potential threats. The solution lies in cognitive-behavioral strategies. Techniques like positive visualization, reframing negative thoughts, and mindfulness can help retrain the brain to expect success rather than failure.
Conclusion:
In conclusion, our penchant for expecting the worst is a deeply ingrained habit, but it’s not an inescapable fate. This blog has navigated through the intricacies of our psychological predispositions, illuminated by personal stories and underpinned by solid data. The transformative message is clear: By confronting our ‘catastrophe addiction’ and adopting practical, cognitive strategies, we can not only alter our expectations but also elevate our outcomes. Let’s rewire our expectations, not for fear of disaster, but for the anticipation of success.
